The DAY he was forced to leave from the house, I felt a big relief. But at the same time the feelings of loss and despair were among me. Everything seem so weird that I still ran on the AUTOMATIC PILOT that was him. Still controlling me. I let myself be conditioned to please his every desire, want and need but it was never enough. When I acknowledged that, was when the healing began.
I decided to please me. Do what I wanted. So I reveled against my kitchen. My friends would come over and try to clean up my fabulous mess. I would just tell them. " If you want to help please don't Clean I am enjoying my mess, when I want to I will clean it!" When I want to! Those words were powerful now I can do what I want. Is my time and I had to recondition my behavior to start to please myself and not feel lost cause I didn't have control of my life, someone else did. So anything that I started to be aware that I did to please him I did the total opposite. There I found myself with a smile.
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When reading this blog... I feel it has touch home in some places, and makes you realize how some women try to please there man, and we are such giving people we look for gratitude from them.. The gratitude is within us... strong, amazing, loving individuals. That is what I need to remind myself. This blog help me think how amazing I am and can become. Thank you.....:)
ReplyDeleteLove it! We connect with some people in so many different ways what are the odds. I just found a new friend in you Sheilamarie. I hope to connect with you soon. You can always email me or write write here. I stiil dont have a email for this account will let you know soon.
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